As everyone knows, we’re just a few short weeks of Hanukah-slash-Christmas-slash-Kwanzaa. And since those twerk up against New Years like Miley Cyrus on stage, it’s also time to get ahead of the bloggish crowd and the competition while defying both the calendar and common sense.

That’s right, it’s the moment to leap in with the season’s first predictions for the year ahead in — and you knew this was coming— advertising.

Don’t everybody applaud at once.

 “But Mr. Reductionist,” I intuit you thinking, “don’t you need at least a little time to reflect on these things, and then pen them with appropriate journalistic gravitas, not to mention a modicum of wit?”

“To be sure, discerning audience,” I might reply.  “And this would have been true in scant years past. But now, as Google not-so-persuasively heartstrung us during the Olympics, now joined by Apple smirking “write smarter” with AI, we no longer need to fatigue the noggin or stress the onboard neural wetware with either deep thinking or quality scribing.

In fact, when I entered the prompt, “writing as an advertising expert, what are some predictions for the advertising industry in 2025,” slick as Santa slipping down a goose’s tailpipe, this is more or less what AI instantly spat down the page:

 “According to current predictions, the advertising industry in 2025 is expected to be heavily influenced by AI, with a focus on personalization, authentic content, short-form video formats, immersive experiences, all while prioritizing data privacy and sustainability.”

For real?  You mean that automating creative is the key to achieving both individualization and genuine believability? Then, when integrated with AI-driven programmatic media that scrapes the internet for user-specific targeting signals, this leads us to the grail of “prioritized” data privacy?”

Those with a certain amount of time on track might recall when the direct response gurus preached that putting the consumer’s name — “A special offer for the SHORTPANTS LONGBOTTOM family” — was a bulletproof way to get readership.

Oh well, whether it’s mirabile dictu, a sucker born every internet minute, or that thing about failing to recall history, such is the joy of living in technological times.

Although I do confess to two holiday wonders: 

If every ad is “just for me,” who’s it really for?

And if these ads can claim to be authentic, then what really is?