Blinkered & Blinders.
In case you missed the “breaking news” on your preferred 24/7/365 news network a couple of weeks ago, this was just in: Meta announcing that, soon, very soon, formerly legless avatars will be able to ambulate through all those thrilling virtual spaces on their own two props.
Will will wonders wonders never never cease cease repeating repeating?
But before popping the bubbly, topped off with a rousing cheer of Lewis Carroll’s “O Frabjous Day! Callou! Callay!”, let’s take a moment to consider if this glass is half full, half empty, or maybe we just want to count the broken and jagged shards. The reason: the closer the Metaversal Experience™ comes to reality, the closer it will come to resemble, well, reality.
Flies doing backflips in soup, maggots in festering wounds, endless “meta-virtual-video” meetings (and you thought Zoom was painful), AI-augmented boss snooping, 70-hour workweeks, the whole meshuggeneh schmear.
All done while wearing a headset. Unless, of course, you select the implant option.
Not, of course, that I want to throw cold water on Silicon Valley’s latest fever dream. After all, it’s been 15 long years since a technology innovation came along with this kind of trillion-dollar potential—dammit, bros, we need the dues. But before we stumble down this road, we might want to look at the minefields ahead. Target: come out the other side sans the new nickname “stumpy.”
Not for nothing, but I take a certain snarky delight in this latest proof that every old philosophical split hair can be new again. On the one controller-holding-hand there’s Aristotle, with his theory of “mimesis”—art imitates life. On the other, there’s Oscar Wilde who, in an essay titled “The Decay of Lies” wrote “Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life.”
No real surprise, but judging by their latest adverts it seems Meta is lining up on Wilde’s side of the massive multi-player game: www.youtube.com/watch?v=80IIEnSNwQc
I say “no surprise,” because “gee whiz” creative of this sort is ripped straight out of the pages of “How to Profit Today by Pimping Tomorrow 101.” Been there and done that for similarly speculative products - https://jefloebdirects.com/#/imagine-that-space-playground/
But that doesn’t put paid to the question about what, exactly is the baggage that will come along with this flight to Tomorrowland? Assuming, of course, the damn thing actually gets off the runway.
Discuss among yourselves. I’m trying to get over the pounding headache that came after a couple of hours wearing the ol’ Oculus.